How to stop blaming yourself over non-existent parenting mistakes

Personal guilt trips may lead parents to develop unhealthy habits that affect kids for the rest of their lives. There would be days when you feel sorry for having shouted, and make up by making a special meal. But if feeling sorry for various mistakes becomes a regular part of your thoughts and actions as a parent, something is definitely wrong.  

We have listed some of the most common reasons parents feel guilty. If these look familiar, ma be, you need to introspect a bit.  

You are a working parent, so you don’t have much time 
For parents who work hard, inside or outside the home, this is one of the top sources of guilt. To make it worse, you actually like your job, but you also love your child. Don’t solve it by ordering pizza daily or buying loads of toys or gifting expensive gadgets. These objects can’t replace you. Talk with your child, they are way more understanding than you think, and they are also busy with their own lives. What you do with your time together is after all more important than how many hours you spend together.  

Your child doesn’t behave well in public  
Does a tantrum-prone child or a grumpy teen make you embarrassed? Instead of blaming yourself, spend time in fixing limits to behaviour out of home while you are at home with your kids. If needed, enforce these. Give them a chance or two, then enforce the punishment. Beating or screaming won’t help. Stop a favourite activity till the rectify the behaviour, it works very well. Sometimes kids behave badly because they want attention. Cross-check your relation – have you been talking – and not just chatting?  

Your child has a poor diet  
Many Indian parents have a hang-over around healthy foods. We compare the healthy stuff we ate as kids with the junk our kids are consuming now, and feel sorry for everyone. Junk food is fattening, but it won’t kill. Start introducing tasty but healthy snacks, and you will slowly be able to move your kids away from chips towards baked potato.  

Your kid is overdoing digital gadgets  
We know digital gadgets can ruin eyes, nerves, mind, and they make kids fat, dependant etc. But we are living in the digital age, and there’s no turning the clock back. The right approach is to strike a balance. Allow an hour on the mobile daily, and some binge watching in the weekend. If you stop everything, they will do it on the sly.