Are you influenced by how other parents bring up their kids?

Parents often unconsciously adopt the parenting techniques of fellow parents. Sometimes, it becomes a competition for them too. They end up pushing their kids to do or pursue things that the children of their friends or neighbours do. This is termed as the bandwagon effect.  

What is bandwagon effect? 
The bandwagon effect is a psychological phenomenon that is based on the premise that humans tend to take actions or arrive at a conclusion just because others are doing it. This phenomenon works through a self-reinforcing mechanism, meaning, following certain attitudes and behaviours just to get into ‘the swim of things.’ Individuals fall into the loop of a bandwagon effect when they rely on conformity.  

Bandwagon effect is a cognitive bias, or in simple terms, a pattern of deviation from rationality. People who are affected by this phenomenon are less likely to form their own opinions. Instead, they rally around other people's viewpoints and adopt them as their own.  

When parents start following certain socially acceptable attitudes, further transferring them onto their children, they become vulnerable to the possibility of losing control over their decisions. The perceived social norms shape parents’ actions. A hypothetical scenario could be one where parents are more likely to take their child to the library if others in their circle do the same. 

Getting over the bandwagon effect 
If you have fallen prey to the bandwagon effect, then your relationship with your child may get unnecessarily strained. This is how you can get rid of the undue influence of fellow parents.  

Be more open-minded: Parents must understand that past actions and experiences cannot lay the foundation for their child’s future decisions. To avoid adapting to the herd mentality parents should maintain a temporal distance from bandwagon cues. Wait before making decisions and do what is best for your child, not what others think is suitable. 

Create an optimal condition for judgement: Always think about the needs of your kid and do not form a judgement based on what others do. Your child may be the complete opposite. Know when a decision is going wrong, measure your analysis of the situation based on rationality and goodwill. 

Hold yourself accountable: Even if you have fallen for the herd mentality and you think a wrong decision was made, give it time, and take responsibility for your actions. Parents are the role models for kids. Draw a line where needed because you know your child best. 

Visualize your consequences: Create a visual in your head of the pros and cons of the decision. Map out all possibilities around it and then come to a conclusion. Doing this will give you the confidence to make the right decision for your child. Sometimes, let your child handle things their way to create harmony in relations. 

Consider alternative options: When talking about the needs of kids, parents should consider multiple options before picking the right one. This way, you can open yourself up to various possibilities, both good and bad for better-judged solutions.  

Take external feedback: Before taking a decision, a parent can consult or take advice from an individual that is not likely to fall for the bandwagon effect themselves. This way, you can get an outside approach that may be an opinion other than yours in the matter.