Assertiveness: An important skill for young people

Does your child agree to everything his or her friends say, and then regret it later? Or is it the other way round, your kid is the one trying to decide things for the whole group? It might even be a golden mean, a child who listens and speaks, agrees and argues. But is their point coming across as they want? Honesty is the best policy, and assertiveness is based on that.  

What is assertiveness?  
Assertiveness, in its true sense, is the ability to speak up for ourselves honestly, while being respectful to what others have to say. Unfortunately, ‘assertive’ is often wrongly used for meaning ‘bossy’. Speaking our mind ought to be a positive experience for us and others. Assertiveness is all about that healthy mode of communication. It’s a trait that takes a child forward while answering in class, raising a question, interacting with peers, and even when appearing for a college entrance or job interview.  

What gets better when kids are assertive? 
An assertive communication style helps kids get things done the way they want. They don’t have to toe the line or follow the flock always, nor would they come across as a perpetual rebel. But it goes further than that: being assertive shows we respect our values and those of other people. 

When a child speaks assertively, they are being neither too timid nor pushy. They don’t want their feelings to get hurt, nor do they want to hurt others. They are confident and logically so.  

These characteristics help kids bond better. They make more friends and perform better in group activities. It makes them tackle disagreements sensibly, and communicate better with teachers, elders and authority. Most importantly, being assertive earns kids respect, and they learn to respect others because they value their opinions too.  

Can assertiveness be taught?  
Being assertive doesn't come naturally to all kids. But it can be taught by parents, teachers and even through personality development and social skills classes for kids. Many of these are available in the hybrid model now, so your child will benefit form a mentor while staying at home. It’s worth a try.