Ghosting: An online trend you need to protect your teen from

Ghosting is when a person (or friend group) one has been interacting with habitually online, suddenly stops all communication without any explanation.  

What happens in ghosting?  
If your teenager is on the receiving end of the ghosting, he has been ghosted, and the perpetuator is the ghost. Text conversations will abruptly stop. He will get blocked on all social media accounts of the ghost. The ghost will even ‘untag’ him or herself from all shared photos and posts, and delete all past comments - theirs and his – on all accounts. If direct messages are not blocked, they will not get him a response. The idea is to make a person feel as if a relationship never existed. The victim of ghosting, irrespective of age, would be confused, hurt, frustrated, betrayed and finally even traumatised. 

Why is ghosting worse than being dumped?  
Teenage lovers keep dumping each other. This is not new. But thanks to social media, ghosting is an ultra-cruel and public way of ending a relation. It’s also the ultimate form of bullying. Teenagers who do not match within a group are ghosted by group members to drive in that he or she is utterly worthless.  

How can you protect your teen from ghosting? 
You can’t. But you can help them cope and not allow them to blow this rejection out of proportion. Assure them that you still love them, and they are of whatever value they can create. Instead of empty sympathy, let ghosting bring certain things into focus and become a step towards becoming strong adults.  

Help them set healthy standards for relations: Being ghosted, while painful, is also an opportunity to ask this question: What qualities and characteristics do the victim value in a friend or love interest? Did the ghost live up to it? Did they notice and ignore warning signs?  

Break the mobile prison: Being ghosted is often a teen’s chance towards leading a bigger life. Point out the degree to which your youngster is allowing mobiles and 24/7 social media to dominate them. It’s their chance to ‘get real’ and meet some nicer people in the world outside.  

Discourage vengeance and guilt: Warn angry teens not to go for vengeful activities like spreading rumours or posting malicious content. Nor should they wallow in self-pity and guilt. It’s bad. But the life has not stopped.