Help your children express their feelings
Experiencing a myriad of emotions is a natural and logical progression of life. But expressing them in the right manner is an art. In fact, it can be a challenging task, especially for children because their capacity to communicate or articulate themselves is still developing. Inability to express emotions can lead to anger, frustration and even guilt. It can also come in their way of building healthy relationship with their peers.
More often than not, children and adolescents are confused about what they are feeling. They are unable to distinguish one emotion from another. That is why they end up either expressing it in an unhealthy, inappropriate way or bottling it up. Both are detrimental to their mental health and cognitive development. So, as a parent, you need to make conscious effort to help your children identify their feelings and channelise them in the right manner. Here are ways to do so.
Respond to cues in the right manner
When children are young, they express themselves through various verbal and physical cues. Their emotions can easily be misunderstood because they don’t know how to properly convey them. It is important that you tune into the needs of your child and respond to their calls to you in the right manner. Leaving her unattended thinking that the tantrum will stop, can be detrimental to their development. They develop ideas that their feelings are unimportant and irrelevant which lead to problems in their emotional growth.
Teach them about different feelings
Using words, actions or illustrations, help children understand the spectrum of emotions and allow them to differentiate between happiness, sadness, frustration or anger. Teach them how to recognise these emotions in other people through facial expressions. Visual learning is highly effective.
Help kids identifying their emotion
As children grow up, they begin recognising their feelings or at least acknowledging their relative differences. Help your children label these feelings. Encourage them to elaborate on the irritation they feel and find out what is making them feel this, whether it is frustration, anger, or discomfort. This will also help in developing their empathy.
Talk about your own feelings
Children learn best through observation. If you model emotional honesty then they are more likely to develop it in themselves. Talk to them about how you feel, what the name of that feeling is, what it’s like to have that emotion and what triggered the feeling in the first place. When you take up this pattern of explaining and understanding emotion, children are better equipped at finding patterns and recognising these emotions in themselves and others.
Accept and listen to them
When your children come to you feeling upset or confused, do not brush it off as inconsequential. Make them feel heard by acknowledging their feelings. Empathic listening will help you understand them and find better ways to help them through their journey. They should not feel guilty or as if they are an inconvenience. Be approachable so they feel comfortable talking to you. Provide them outlets for their emotions rather than suppressing them.
Encourage healthy expression
A simple expression is not the end of it. Children should know how to express themselves in ways that are not harmful to themselves or those around them. Show your children how to ask for help when they feel overwhelmed, and also make them understand that not every feeling needs to be dealt with alone. When you see your children expressing themselves appropriately, encourage that behaviour. Help them find amicable ways to express strong emotion. For example, if you find your youngster processing anger by lashing it out on others, teach them alternatives. Taking a deep breath, going out for a walk, penning down the chain of emotions are good options.