Help your tween transition into teenage

While a lot of help is available for troubled teens, not much research addresses the tween years. Yes, we are talking about that tricky phase from 10 to 13, when you do not know whether your kid is a child or an adolescent. Bodily changes and sudden spurts of mental maturity make tweens confused. This confusion might show up as in mood swings, tantrums, withdrawn behaviour or dipping grades. We have some practical tips to deal with your tween.  

Listen and then talk to tweens  
Before you start a lecture on tween topics such as substance abuse, wrong touch, choosing a specialisation at school or internet safety – listen to your tween – they might know enough already. Kids are exposed to more violence, knowledge, tech, finance and just about everything. Once you know exactly what they know and feel about a topic, fill in the gaps.  

Make tweens feel secure with you  
Your kid won’t talk concretely unless he or she is sure that it’s okay. Give them a sense of security where they can speak their mind. For example, your tween may want to start a website. To do that, she would need to buy a domain name. She may also want to order a dress from a fashion label that she plans to wear 2 years later. To her, both are logical, and she needs a credit card for both. So when she asks for your credit card, ask her why, and find out completely. Point out logically why the futuristic dress is not a great idea, and why the website is a better choice.  

Actively encourage interests and creativity  
Encourage your tween to keep a diary or a blog. To draw or work on crafts, carpentry, electronics – anything that requires creative thinking – and they like doing. It serves the triple purpose of being an emotional outlet, helping them develop skills, and communicating to you how their mind is working.  

Finally, check your attitude and reactions 
Are stressed, dismissive, overbearing, without meaning to hurt the kids? Run a self-check. Unless you approach your tween with an open mind, none of the above tips will work.