How to educate middle-schoolers about good touch and bad touch?

Women’s safety isn’t something that India can be proud of. So, it’s no surprise that girl children in the country are also under potential sexual threat most of the times. The situation becomes even more worrisome when law enforcers also neglect the issues of women and children’s safety. Recently, Bombay High Court judge, Justice Pushpa V Ganediwala stated that pressing breasts of minors without removing their clothes didn’t indicate skin-to-skin contact and hence shouldn’t be considered as an offence under Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act. In yet another unfortunate judgement, she acquitted a 50-year-old man for holding a 5-year old’s hand and unzipping his pants in front of him.  

In the given context, it has become mandatory to teach kids about good and bad touch, especially middle schoolers. They are no longer toddlers constantly supervised by parents or trusted family members, nor are they grown up enough like high schoolers to defend themselves.  

Why is it important to educate your child about touch? 
It is crucial to educate your child about various kinds of touche she can possibly experience. An unwanted touch can be from anyone at any time and it doesn’t need to be sexual abuse. It can be a peck on the cheek or a random hug or caress on the back. If it is making your child uncomfortable, it is clearly a bad touch, whether you or the person involved might consider it or not. In a nutshell, bad touch is any form of physical contact that makes your child   uncomfortable, contact, however subtle it might be.  

Moreover, bad touch is more harmful than it sounds as it can scar kids for life, hamper their emotional growth and maturity and even lead to severe psychological traumas. So, parents need to make sure their children know how to protect themselves.  

Teaching your child about good and bad touch  
As a parent, you may feel a little awkward to discuss anything that is related to the word ‘sex’, be it sexual health or safety. But it is undeniable that kids need to be armed with sex education. So, it is important to have a frank and informal discussion with them about it. They should not feel intimidated or overwhelmed during this conversation. Also, using the correct terminologies while referring to the body parts are equally important. Calling breasts, vagina and penis by their real names give the conversation a sense of gravity. Here are some useful tips for you. 

• Explain to your kids that while good touch makes one feel nice and protected, bad touch makes one feel alarmed, unsafe, stressed and uncomfortable. 
• Tell them that their bodies are their own and they have absolute jurisdiction over them. In fact, they can deny anyone, including the parents from touching them, whenever they feel like.  
• Assure them that there is no shame or guilt in refusing affection from someone and demanding physical space. Also, explain that not wanting to return the affection shown to them is at times fine too. 
• Tell your school goer that a pat on the head is fine, but being fondled in private parts is not acceptable (even with clothes on), and should fought against.  
• Reassure your kids over and over again that they should call for help whenever they feel ashamed or uncomfortable with someone’s touch.  
• Make sure your child is comfortable to share things with you or ask you for help, without feeling scared how you might react. Bond with them and gain their trust as much as possible.