Protect your kids from your stress: Here’s how

We know that trouble in the family affects kids. A study published on January 6, 2021 by professors of psychology from 4 USA universities dealt with scenarios related to this. The professors put together a team of researchers who closely surveyed 169 children from California. The parents, especially the mothers, were also given questionnaires and interviewed. The results were an eye opener for everyone.  

What did the study reveal about kids in stressed family situations?  
Children’s mental health was affected deeply in all situations where household income went down, food habits were affected, parents lost jobs and the daily schedules of kids got derailed. Compared to pre-COVID years, depressive symptoms for kids were higher, including pre-schoolers. On the other hand, once family routines were restored, chid mental health started taking a turn for the better. The researchers concluded that family routine can mitigate adverse effects of a disaster by working like a protective cover for kids.  

How can you protect your kids against your stressors?  
The research pointed out that this situation applied to families troubled with issues such as poverty, alcoholism, divorce, and other issues unrelated to the pandemic. Some of the remedies suggested by researchers include these:  

Re-establish family milestones: Don’t upset the routine celebrations of birthdays, anniversaries and festivals. You need not spend much. But if you get your kid just one small pastry and dial in their friends on a video call, their day is made! A few diyas, home-made dinner, and a rangoli are important on Diwali. Cut down on expenses, but don’t skip the dates.  

Don’t blame the spouse: Kids are particularly upset when one parent blames the other for misfortune. Keep the blame game out of kids’ earshot. If you put up a joint front to fight adversities, children chip in to help, even if it means washing dishes voluntarily. But that’s what builds character.  

Don’t disconnect form the external world: Make sure your child is in touch with friends, teachers and relatives, even if it’s virtually. You maybe too busy to keep in touch, but that’s not true for kids. Take that extra effort to retain the world they know. Happiness for kids is more about security and less about money than adults.