The art of rewarding kids: Here's how to do it right

Any behaviour trait repeats itself if followed by a positive consequence like a reward. This is true for all behaviours, including bad behaviour. As a parent, you can use this common human characteristic to encourage your children to repeat good actions and discourage bad ones. 

How do rewards promote good behaviour?  
Rewards definitely encourage good behaviour in kids. The way you respond immediately to an action by the child makes it more or less likely to happen again. So, rewards received after doing something good would be understood as a consequence, and prod the kid to repeat it. Rewards also increase self-esteem. The child realises that his or her action is appreciated by adults, and they value this recognition. Finally, rewards improve your relationship with the child. The act of rewarding makes both of you happy. It strengthens parent-child bonding. Many years later, your adult child will still treasure the memory of a shared bar of chocolate on a sunny afternoon after helping to clean the house.   

What kind of rewards can you give to kids?  
Educators divide rewards into two broad groups – material and social – depending on their nature. Examples of material rewards include toys, sweets, books, games, or anything else that costs money. Social rewards are cheap or free, but might be more powerful than material rewards. They are also spontaneous on your art, so there is no waiting time for the reward.  

What are social rewards?  
Let’s look at some forms of social rewards.  

Affection: Hugs, kisses, a high five, a smile, a pat on the back, or a cuddle on the lap for small children. Kids remember and highly value these gestures of parental love.  

Praise: Did you thank your kid? Did you tell them it was a great job or a ‘wow’ thing to do? Make it better by specifying the action: ‘well I never thought the kitchen could look so clean,’ or ‘you really helped mom today when you put away the toys by yourself”.  

Attention and rewarding activities: Kids know parents are busy people. Give them more time, it’s a great reward. Activities such as going out for dinner, visiting the movies, cooking a favourite dish or even ordering ice cream can create powerful memories of rewards.