Types of bullying parents should be aware of

Petty fights and discord among children are common. They can get into a scuffle over small reasons like jealousy, differing choices, territorial behaviour, etc. While these conflicts are natural, adults need to be able to make the distinction between conflict and bullying. Bullying is a far more serious matter than infighting amongst classmates. Bullying is when someone misuses their existing or perceived power imbalance to cause harm to others. 

The way to recognise bullying is to pay attention to three common factors: 

Power imbalances
It is hard for the target to defend themselves against the bully. It can be a physical imbalance, where the bully may be stronger and larger than the target or a group that outnumbers the target, or a psychological imbalance, like a higher social status or more influence in their peer environment. 

Repetitive actions
Bullying is not a one-time event but a repeated attack on the victim. It may be the same act over and over again or a variety of actions that demean or hurt the target.

Intentional actions
A lot of times children say mean or rude things to protect themselves or as a reaction to a situation, they find uncomfortable. Bullying is done with a clear intention to harm the target. The behaviour is neither accidental nor a “joke”. 

Types of bullying 
Bullying isn’t always physical. There are many ways in which bullies harm their targets. Similarly, there are different criteria with which they pick their targets as well. Children can be suffering from any or a combination of any of these categories:

Physical Bullying
This type of bullying is the one people are most familiar with and is the easiest to identify because it often leaves physical evidence like wounds and abrasions. It involves physical acts like pushing and hitting, threats of violence, and abusive physical pranks like pulling down the pants of the target in a crowded place. Many times, this physical bullying goes hand in hand with verbal bullying. 

Verbal bullying
Verbal bullying can take many forms from name-calling to humiliating their targets. They hurl insults and belittle a target who, usually, can’t fight back due to reasons like social anxiety, mental health problems, or special needs. These verbal assaults usually take place in private where there is no possible means of adult intervention. This transforms it into a he-said-she-said situation and there is no clear evidence. Unfortunately, this sort of bullying is often dismissed by parents as something children should “get over with” because it causes them no visible harm. 

Cyberbullying 
Now that social circles are not just physical spaces but have evolved into an ever-present entity through the internet and social media, bullying has also invaded online platforms. Group chats, SNS, online forums, all give students the opportunity to interact outside their usual physical environment of interaction. It also gives bullies an opportunity to cause damage without having to face their targets in person. Not only that, it makes children vulnerable to harassment from strangers. They are subjected to hurtful comments, slander, and even cyberstalking. 

Relational Aggression 
This type of bullying uses relationships to control and hurt the target. The bullies change the target’s social standing in order to put themselves in a more powerful and popular position. It is a calculated emotional manipulation that uses spreading lies and rumours behind the target’s back, exposing embarrassing secrets, and isolating them from their peers. This type of bullying often goes unnoticed by parents and teachers alike. If your children come home upset about no longer being a part of their social circle or being repeatedly left out, they might be suffering from this kind of bullying. 

Sexual Bullying
It involves humiliating words and actions that target a person sexually. It is more common during mid and late-teen years. Sexual bullying includes making crude remarks about the target’s sexual development or promiscuity, vulgar gestures, and propositions. It often escalates into slut-shaming, uninvited touching, and even sexual assault. Girls are typically the targets of such bullying, instances of boys getting sexually bullied are still relatively low. 

Prejudicial Bullying
Prejudicial bullying can involve all the tactics mentioned above, the only difference is that the targets are chosen according to the bullies’ prejudices over different races, religions, or sexual orientations. This discrimination is the main motivator of the bully’s behaviour.