How conversational skills can take your child forward

Chatting and talking are very different. Garbled small talk might work with strangers on the web, but in real life, a few empathetic questions, one encouraging comment or quick humour can help us bond better than hours of small talk. As adults, we know the value of good conversation. But do our kids realise it? 

Why does a child need conversational skills?  
As parents, we often think that the ‘cuteness’ factor of our children till their tween years is enough to win them buddies, and in their teen years, it will be their ‘cool’ factor. That is not enough. To truly bond with peer group and form lasting friendships, children need to know how to connect through conversation. What’s more, a child or teen who is good at conversation, is also more confident, has pleasant leadership qualities, is a good listener, and more open to trouble shooting. If we introspect, we will realise that’s just the set of qualities that good spouses, good employees and good entrepreneurs have. Conversational skills are like a bridge to the rest of the world. If you help your kid build it, they will be benefitted for a lifetime.  

How do you explain conversation building to a child?  
Start by explaining what it’s like to build a fit atmosphere for a conversation. Adopt these tips yourself and apply them, the child will follow it much better than even an interesting lecture.  

• Encourage them to start conversations. Let them ask you if you are hungry or busy, instead of the other way around always 
• Pulling at your clothing or screaming ‘Maaa’ from the bedroom is not the right way to get attention. Kids have to come up to you to talk. If you are busy, they will need to figure out how to put in that ‘excuse me’ or equivalent at the right moment  
• Kids and teens have a habit of wandering about the room or staring at other things while talking. Show them the importance of attentive body language and how fast conversation can move if you are looking at each other  
• No interruptions please. Parents and children have to take turns and talking and listening so that both get their points across  
• Be polite to kids and make sure they are polite too  
• Kids can’t keep talking non-stop while you are on a conference call or cooking something complicated. Teach them when to stop talking and resume only when they have the attention of the other party  

Start with these, and follow up with some conversation scenarios to build confidence.