Are you an angry parent? Here’s how you are affecting your kids

Most parents know that getting angry with their child is not productive, and fighting among themselves is also not a good thing for kids to watch. It often does not end up in ‘teaching a lesson’, on the contrary, the cost to the relationship is so high that it’s not worth the price. But what are the effects on kids and are they really as bad as counsellors tell us? Unfortunately, yes.  

What happens in a kid’s mind when you are furious  
Scolding your kid because he or she stole a cookie is not what we are talking about here. Some angry parents really blow off steam. They become verbally abusive, cannot cite logical reasons for their temper tantrum (yes, parents can throw tantrums too), and sometimes go for physical violence. Meanwhile, what is going on inside the child’s head?  

Parent’s anger affects a child negatively because he is going to respond with equally or stronger emotions to what they are receiving. It’s natural for almost all creatures to respond emotionally when a strong emotion is directed at them. Children’s brains aren’t developed to generate a rational response. So they become angry and violent simply because they want to balance the same amount of anger, whether they understand the reason or not.  

What are the after-effects of parental anger? 
The relationships we have in adult life are shaped by childhood. Parents who understand this established science will be more likely to take a serious warning n anger management. Researchers have repeatedly pointed these out:  

• Children of angry parents grow to be more aggressive and noncompliant   
• Children of angry parents are not going to be empathetic 
• Children of angry parents would have adjustment issues 
• Parental anger has often led directly to delinquency 
• Parental anger can turn into a poisonous legacy, impacting the adult child, causing depression, social alienation, spouse abuse and stunted career and economic growth. This becomes an on-going family trait 

Parents often become angry with kids who do not meet expectations. It’s advisable to assess their children’s capabilities and inclinations realistically instead of wanting something they cannot or do not want not give. It’s better for everyone’s future.