Effects of parental guilt-tripping on kids

It’s very normal for parents to tell kids that fat children are clumsy, or kids bad at STEM would be jobless. But this very common tactics of blaming and shaming kids may not yield the desired positive result.  

What is parental guilt tripping?

Using guilt or guilt-tripping is a form of manipulating kids to do better, behave well, look better or anything else the parent wants. It's a way of shaming or blaming a child in to convince them to do something or comply with a request. The idea is that a child who feels guilty will try to do something to get rid of that feeling of guilt.  

Of course, a child should be guilty after cheating at class, stealing a sibling’s books, damaging the laptop, being unkind to animals. But parental guilt tripping is a convoluted reflection of parental ambition projected on kids.  

Why do parents start guilt tripping kids?  

Most parents do it without realising they may harm the child. Some do it since it was a method adopted by their parents. Many parents have very naughty or creative or misunderstood kids, so they decide guilt tripping is the only option to discipline them since nothing else seems to be working.  

What are the consequences of guilt tripping?

Negative consequences of guilt tripping include lowering a child’s self-esteem, inviting failure through fear psychosis, creating emotional violence in the kid, opening them to peer pressure, making them depressed, or developing delinquent habits. If a child is shamed about bad grades, he may cheat to get over the guilt of doing badly, and not feel guilty about cheating.  

How can parents avoid guilt tripping? 

The first step is to work toward establishing habits of good communication with your children. Tell them what you did not like and why, in logical terms. Find out if they are having a comprehension problem, health issue or feeling insecure about something. Parents should not impose their character or ambition on kids, and respect their individuality and unique skills. Once parents find out through talking what is the root cause of failure, they can help kids eliminate it in a healthy way without the guilt burden.