How to raise boys who respect women amidst a misogynistic culture

The Central Board of Secondary Education (CBSE) found itself in the middle of a controversy last week, due to an alleged misogynistic comprehension passage in the class X English question paper of the term I board exams. From renowned educationists like Dr Girish Kumar Tiwari and Pragya Gogoi, to political leaders like Congress President Sonia Gandhi and Member of Parliament Rahul Gandhi, parents, and students, everyone blamed the Council for promoting ‘gender stereotype.’  

This is what the last paragraph of the comprehension passage looks like.  

“What people were slow to observe was that the emancipation of the wife destroyed the parent’s authority over the children. The mother did not exemplify the obedience upon which she still tried to insist… In bringing the man down from his pedestal the wife and the mother deprived herself, in fact of the means of discipline.” 

The importance of preaching gender equality is never overrated, especially in the current context. Parents and mentors are now looking for more ways to promote bias-free life lessons among their children, especially boys, in order to raise them into individuals who will not only be naturally respectful towards women but also defend their rights in times of crisis, all amidst a prevailing misogynistic culture. Here’s what you can do as parents and guardians to ensure the same.  

Be the role models of equality 
Like everything else, kids first learn everything at home, be it gender equality or manners. Therefore, for boys to start honour women, they need to see the male members of their families (grandfathers, fathers, uncles, brothers) exhibiting respectful behaviour towards the female members (grandmothers, mothers, and sisters), treating them equally and helping them to seek out equal opportunities. From earning money to household chores, or childcare, the goal is to help your boys understand that all are equal duties of both the parents and are not gender-specific gender. That is why they share them equally for the welfare of the entire family.  

Allow boys to express their emotions 
A step towards raising boys into men who will respect women throughout their lives is to let them express their emotions to the fullest. Boys are often told to man up during childhood, stating the sexist reason that only girls are supposed to cry. Such gender biased notions should be discarded at all cost. Instead, boys should be allowed to exhibit emotions and show weaknesses from time to time as those are just normal human ways of living.  

Let him develop his own passion and ambitions 
The society has gender biased notions that some games and professions are suited for girls, while others are suited for boys only. In fact, till early childhood, girls and boys indulge in same kind of play activities, which tend to change as they start growing up. This is where change needs to be introduced where boys should be allowed to explore their passions and ambitions as per their interests, without any gender bias. Encouraging boys to pursue creative arts or playing board games alongside science alongside outdoor games are two leading examples. 

Teach equality beyond feminism 
When raising boys, parents, especially the fathers should focus on breaking free of the toxic masculinity stereotype that has been prevailing in our male-dominated society since ages. In fact, it is the duty of the fathers to explain to their sons that being a man is not a privilege, and equality is as vital for them as for the girls. The goal is to impart values that irrespective of their sexual identity, all people are worthy of equal dignity and courtesy.