How to stop manipulative behaviour in children
Some kids just want to have what they want, at any cost. As parents, we are tempted to give in to their innocent little whims. An elder sibling may always want the bigger piece of chocolate, and a younger kid might throw a tantrum if bedtime is enforced. But what looks cute in a little kid won’t be so nice when your 14 year old wants to drive or your 17 year old wants a smoke.
What is manipulative behaviour in kids?
We usually do not even associate the word ‘manipulation’ with children. However, this behaviour pattern exists, and in some cases, since early childhood. Headstrong kids figure out what they need to do or say, or how they need to use others to get what they want in every situation. This makes them obstinate, scheming and makes socialising a major problem later in personal and professional lives.
How do you identify manipulative behaviour in children?
Do you often find yourself siding with your child unwillingly or giving in to what you know is an unreasonable demand? Then you are being manipulated and you need to nip this tendency in the bud. If you don’t, it will be unfair on your part to come down heavily on the child later.
How can you stop kids from manipulating you or others?
Use these techniques to stop them. They may sound strict. But isn’t it better to correct kids instead of young adults?
Respond logically, don't react: If your son insists once again on buying a new toy car, don’t scold him, but respond calmly, repeating that asking again and again won’t change your answer
Don't be emotionally blackmailed: Does your child keep pointing out that she has been good, and should be awarded with extra mobile gaming hours? Don’t be blackmailed into this. Tell her being good is an award in itself, and if she spends more time on games she won’t remain so good anymore
Stand united with your spouse: Make sure you both have the same opinion. If your spouse gives in each time you are strict, the child will stop asking you, causing a rift between all of you
Stop negotiating or explaining every move: While logical answers to requests are important, you don’t need to negotiate with children to make them obey you.
Hold kids responsible for mistakes: Don’t relent to excuses. Unfinished homework is just that. Unless the child has been unwell or you know of a valid reason, don’t encourage sidestepping responsibilities.