Perfectionism can be detrimental for your youngster: Here’s how to help
From completing a science project to not looking up from textbooks during an exam week, a perfectionist does not tend to look away from the job at hand. Instead, he wants to achieve perfection and sets a benchmark (often unrealistic!) for the self. He also starts taking pride in this pursuit for perfectionism. This can lead to serious consequences. Read on to learn how obsessive perfectionism negatively affects teens and how you can help your teen to overcome it.
Why can perfectionism be detrimental for your teen?
The aim to excel at something by consciously directing one’s actions towards it and honing the required skills is applaudable. However, being consumed in setting unrealistic goals and high expectations is not healthy for your teen. Take this situation for example: She scores 99 out of a 100 in a quiz and chooses to view the loss of 1 mark as a colossal failure instead of being proud of scoring the other 99! This all-or-nothing attitude will blind your teen to her own accomplishments while putting excessive performance pressure.
How you can help your teen overcome a negative perfectionist attitude
Perfectionism can lead to anxiety, constant self-doubt, low self-esteem, extreme self-critique, trouble in decision-making, etc. Help her out of this vicious cycle. Here are our tips.
Help him identify the aspects he can control and those he cannot
Help your teen understand that outcomes usually depend on a number of factors, many of which are out of one’s control. For example, although he may want to be the best athlete in school, he can’t control how his peers perform. Instead, help him realise that the only thing in his hands is his own effort.
Don’t set unrealistic expectations
Many-a-times, parents directly or indirectly tend to put pressure on their teens to perform to the best of their abilities. It is important to place high but reasonable expectations to set a healthy challenge- not one that is nearly impossible to achieve. Try to monitor your own expectations and provide positive feedback when your child accomplishes a goal, no matter how big or small.
Teach your teen how to cope with failure
Surely, failure can be disappointing. But, it can also be a pathway to learn important lessons which will be beneficial in the future. Teach your teen to develop coping skills to manage mistakes, disappointments, bad luck and rejection in a healthy way. Be open to hearing her out and encourage her to channel her emotions through various means like conversations with family and friends, journaling, art, etc.