Priceless parent-child bonding lessons from the Mayans

There is an old African proverb that it takes a village to raise a child. Writer Michaeleen Doucleff, found that out for herself and wrote about it in her book ‘Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans’. The NPR science reporter was surprised by what her expedition to an Inuit village in Nunavut, the Yucatan mountains of South America, taught her about her child and herself.  

What was Douceleff’s experience about? 
Douceleff was traveling with Rosy, her 3 year old daughter. Though a good reporter, Douceleff had apparently been not so great at parenting. Rosy was given to throwing terrible tantrums and constantly sough the attention of her busy mom. But unexpected parenting lessons she picked up from the village have helped her calm the child down and rediscover parenting.  

Bond with an angry child as an adult, not another child 
The adults of Nunavut remain calm and either just look at the child throwing a tantrum or walk away quietly. For the Mayans, an ill-behaved child is an illogical little creature who has not yet learn proper behaviour. Instead of shouting and bringing themselves down to the same level, adults establish authority through studied silence.  

Make children value praise  
Loud verbal praise for everything and sharing tiny achievements on social media is a form of constantly applauding the child. Doucleff  noticed that Mayan adults usually gave a smile or nod as praise. This kept things at a normal level, and also made the kids, even the teenagers, value praise from adults.  

Kids ought to cooperate – with everyone  
Once she was back home, Doucleff reduced the number and frequency of child-centred activities. She also accompanied Rosy while visiting friends. Mother and daughter worked together on chores such as dishwashing and laundry. Mayan kids learn cooperation and teamwork early in life. So, by the time they are teens, which is considered to be adult in that society, they have very good interpersonal skills. They are, in their way, ready for the adult world. Douceleff has implemented the lesson learnt from this observation too.